Me Old China

Though outwardly austere, the Old China Hand in Clerkenwell is in fact a charming pub which stands out from London’s myriad Green Kings by virtue of actually having an atmosphere.

The decor is endearingly odd. The tables and chairs are hefty lumps of misshapen oak, the kind that a Lord of the Rings enthusiast would choose to furnish their at-home ale garden. They are complimented (?) by some golden wall hangings more commonly found in regional Indian restaurants, and a Celtic football scarf. It’s as if a recently-divorced uncle has finally been given free rein over his man cave but the Budweiser mini fridge hasn’t arrived to ‘tie it all together’ yet.

Not that you’ll find a Budweiser here. One of the most interesting aspects of the Old China is that it only serves British booze. There’s no ominous St George’s Cross waving here though - they just seem genuinely keen to support as many British booze drinks suppliers as possible, and the menu is fantastically unique as a result. Wines from Glamorgan and vodkas from Fife jostle on the shelves alongside more ‘traditional’ pub offerings and a mad range of beers.

There are dart boards at the end which are usually cretin magnets in a London pub, but I’ve only ever seen them occupied by small groups fastidiously keeping score of their matches rather than number of pints sunk. There is a veritable pub Olympiad at the Old China Hand. There are board games, a ping pong table and occasionally table football, all of which would have you believe that this place is more Scrabble than Solitaire

Yet somehow, even at peak times, the pub feels calm.

The ping pong table is tucked away upstairs, the darts are at the far end away from the bar, and dominoes players aren’t notoriously rowdy. Even on a busy Saturday night, I’ve been able to find a chair/ornately carved wooden stool to sit on with a book and enjoy a glass of Glamorgan’s finest.

They don’t serve food, but in a stroke of genius given the proximity to Exmouth Market, you can bring in anything you like from outside to eat and enjoy it in the pub, provided you buy a drink. So not only is this a rarely crowded, reasonably priced, family owned, well-stocked, good value pub in central London, you can even BYOF. If you feel more comfortable trying solo dining in a pub than in a formal restaurant, then Old China Hand will lend a helping one.

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Food/Drinks: 3 - Welsh wine and Moroccan tapas anyone? Perhaps a Cornish gin and Vietnamese baguette? Endless delightfully bizarre combinations.

Layout: 2 - Lots of different seats to choose from as a sole visitor, and as there are no stools by the bar, you don’t spend the whole evening awkwardly being talked over by customers. I just wish the chairs were less...knobbly.

Awkwardness: 3 - Everyone is too busy doing their own thing to notice or care if you’re alone. One of the most authentically welcoming pubs in London.

Service: 3 - Great staff. It’s often quiet enough that you won’t be holding them up if you ask for a recommendation, and with such a mad range of drinks, you’ll want their guidance.

Convenience: 3 - You can literally arrive WITH your food. It’s perfect.

Overall: 14/15

Book (ok, essay): Moon Under Water by George Orwell. That man knew his pubs.

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The Old China Hand

Tysoe Street

Clerkenwell

London

£/££ depending on how many regional drinks you feel compelled to sample